Funny Stuff

BMD said:
_Anonymous_'s mom was ready to give birth to him so his dad rushed her to the vet.

On arrival the nurse asks: "How dilated is she?"

To which _Anonymous_'s dad replies: "Oh Jaysus, she jumped over the moon and the dish ran away with the spoon!"
Click to expand...

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says:

"You know what I want, don't you?"

"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole feckin' bed !"
Here's a bonus for you, Paddy


Q: Whats the difference between a smart Irish man and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
 
_Anonymous_ takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says:

"Moo."



Q: Whats the difference between _Anonymous_ and a unicorn?
A: The unicorn doesn't shag cows.
 
BMD said:
_Anonymous_ takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says:

"Moo."



Q: Whats the difference between _Anonymous_ and a unicorn?
A: The unicorn doesn't shag cows.
Click to expand...


Q: What do you call a big Irish spider.
A: Paddy long legs.


Q: What's the difference between Paddy and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag "stays in the cup longer."
 
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Q: What do you call a big _Anonymous_ spider.
A: A Two-cow-moo-cow.


Q: What's the difference between _Anonymous_ and a tea bag?
A: Tea bags don't go in cows.
 
BMD said:
Q: What do you call a big _Anonymous_ spider.
A: A Two-cow-moo-cow.


Q: What's the difference between _Anonymous_ and a tea bag?
A: Tea bags don't go in cows.
Click to expand...

Q: Whats the difference between an Irish wedding, and an Irish funeral?
A: There's one less drunk.

Q: How do you blind an Irish woman?
A: You put a bottle of scotch in front of her.
 
Q: Whats the difference between an _Anonymous_ wedding, and an Irish wedding?
A: There's one less cow.

Q: How do you blind _Anonymous_?
A: You put a cow in front of him.
 
BMD said:
Q: Whats the difference between an _Anonymous_ wedding, and an Irish wedding?
A: There's one less cow.

Q: How do you blind _Anonymous_?
A: You put a cow in front of him.
Click to expand...

Q: What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight?
A: Liam Malone

Q: What do you call an Irishman covered in boils? A: A leper-chaun.
 
Q: What do you call an _Anonymous_ fella trying to break up a fight?
A: A cowboy.

Q: What do you call one of _Anonymous_'s girlfriends when covered in boils?
A: Roast beef.
 
BMD said:
Q: What do you call an _Anonymous_ fella trying to break up a fight?
A: A cowboy.

Q: What do you call one of _Anonymous_'s girlfriends when covered in boils?
A: Roast beef.
Click to expand...


Paddy, Seamus , Mick and Nel were going around town in a new BMW when an old Morris driven by an even older Englishman brushed their car.
All four of them came out to have a fight with the old Englishman.
The old Englishman said, "There's 4 of you.This is not a fair fight."
So the famed Irish sense of fairplay prevailed.
It was decided that Paddy and Seamus will team with the old man and fight Mick and Nel.
The old Englishman says, "but this too is not fair.Now we are 3 and the other side has only two."
So Paddy says, "Pops, you go home Me & Seamus will deal with these hoods"...
 
Beer Googles
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_Anonymous_ Goggles
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