Funny Stuff

People these days :

 
Prasad Karwa (@PrasadKarwa) Tweeted:
Sustainable development + conservation of energy + Bernoulli’s principle + alchemists law - this guy is super genius!

logical thinker on Twitter ( )

This boy when he grows up & joins the Congress will either give grave competition to RaGa or will give him excellent company.
 
Shreena (@laughsfliesaway) Tweeted:
I made Fish Croquettes today and realised that twitter has really ruined my mind. Shreena on Twitter ( )

No @BMD this isn't your favorite thing in the world - turd. Though I'd completely empathize with you if you do identify with what's being projected in the meme.
 
Ha! Hahahah! ... English, the imperfect language.
Can’t resist! Here are some one-liners, two-liners, puns, jokes, whatever ... all for the love of the English Language, warts and all.

1. My best mates and I played a game of hide and seek. It went on for hours... Well, good friends are hard to find.

2. You’re not completely useless, you can always serve as a bad example.

3. I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay.

4. Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re gonna pay. You have my Word.

5. On the other hand, you have different fingers

6. “Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible". “Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

7. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

8. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

9. I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

10. My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

11. Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap.

12. My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

13. And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”
But John came fifth, and he got a toaster.

14. What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.

15. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

16. How did I escape Iraq?
Iran.

17. To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero, thanks for nothing!

18. Son: "Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"
Dad: "No sun."

19. My boss told me to have a good day. So I went home.

20. My math teacher called me average. How mean!
 
Titania McGrath (@TitaniaMcGrath) Tweeted:
CIS WOMEN!

Please follow this new guidance from the Human Rights Campaign Foundation and refer to your vaginas as “front holes”.

Only trans women have vaginas.

This really isn’t difficult, you know... Titania McGrath on Twitter ( )
 
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